A Best Day in Education

I have been teaching fourth grade for over 10 years now. I try to cultivate a warm and welcoming learning community where all students feel comfortable and accepted. We often discuss our diverse identities and students are encouraged to share about their cultures and funds of knowledge. Earlier this year, I noticed that a student had written a list of pronouns on a post-it: I go by he/his/him. I asked her if she wanted to talk about it, and she responded no. A few days later, I noticed that she started writing a different name on her assignments - name that is more often associated with males. Again, I checked in to see if this student wanted to chat about it, and again, she said responded no. I believed that this student was exploring some things related to gender identity, but I did not want to put too much pressure for the student to respond when they were not yet ready to do so.

Over the next few weeks, I observed the student trying different names until I began to see one more frequently. Again, I asked the student about it. 

"I noticed that you have been writing this name a lot on your assignments. Is this a name you would like for me to start calling you?" I asked.

The student nodded in response.

"I'm so glad you shared this with me! Is there anything else you would like me to know about this?"

The student asked me to not use female pronouns when referring to him anymore. 

"Is this something that you are ready to share with others? Have you talked to your mom or your friends and classmates about this? Do you want me to share this with the class?"

He responded that his mom already knew. I checked in with his mom and the student to determine how he wanted to share with the class community. He said I should tell all his other teachers, but he wanted to be the one to share with his friends and classmates. 

This is one of my best days in education because this student felt comfortable sharing his identity with me and sought my support in sharing this with the school community. Afterwards, I saw a complete change in his personality. He went from being a quiet, soft-spoken student who rarely engaged to a student who participated frequently in a loud, clear voice. It felt great to be able to support him in being himself at school.